what we choose to celebrate as schools

Just a thought.

I’ve scrolled through at least four posts by different schools expressing how proud they are of their students and their igcse results.
Why don’t we take time to express this pride when a child helps another, when a child waters a plant, when a child accepts he/she was wrong about something, when a child tries something for the first time and when one child takes interest in another’s culture/religion/country/language or just their being.
Our mission statements continue to flaunt words like holistic and 21st century skills and reflective but we only celebrate what any tuition centre can do.
We celebrate exam results, in percentages.
60% got As. No individual acknowledgement. Just stock-taking.
Sorry if you worked really hard and got only a D, we appreciate it but we won’t acknowledge you.
Bad for our marketing dear.

Lets celebrate the little things that will make them better people with as much enthusiasm as we do igcse results.

Cake - The Film (Spoilers included)

I watched the movie Cake yesterday. It is important to mention that this is the only Pakistani movie i've seen apart from Waar.

Very impressed by the film-making elements, the acting, the Sindhi touch (for once, usually our movies are so Punjab driven).

Loved the kick in the medical industry's butt (as my friend would call it) - when the time is near there is no need for ventilators and hospitals, being with the loved ones in that time is what everyone needs, not tucking them away in an ICU with 5 minute visits from one person at a time.

Loved the truth of sibling relationship. Liked how the brother was not some insensitive idiot who had forgotten his sisters and family just because his wife was a weirdo.

Loved how there were no forced songs.

So, the pace - Pakistani movies beg for better editing. We become too indulgent, to prove a point. Trust the audience - we get the point when you want to show us a particular relationship, one - two scenes are enough. We don't need to see their daily life. Trust us. We know. We've watched movies all our lives.

The guilt -
1. Why is a daughter allowed to moan when deciding to "crush" her dreams and take care of parents? Would it be acceptable for a son to do that? NO.
Because it would be his zimmedari. It's both children's responsibility to take care of parents and if you have  made a choice, you have no right to ridicule the choices of other people.

Why do we forgive daughters for getting married abroad and not sons? Please.

2. It's easy to take a year's leave or quit a job when you have do zameenain, a farmhouse and a 1000 yard bungalow in defence phase 6, or 7 for that matter, naukar who cook and clean for you, 24 hour nurses for parents and people who go to jail in place of you, there is no need to blame people who don't have this privilege in Pakistan and who work abroad for a better life.

3. It shows the parents having lived a wonderful life with each-other. Why are they denying it for their children? While there was a constant blame on the children for making selfish decisions, the parents themselves had parents right? We don't know what happened then.

4. It is easy to live with parents without siblings around, it is difficult with siblings around. Too many thinking adults in one home is not easy. The parents need to re-assess what they want from their children.

Quranic verse 24:61.

There is no blame upon...you if you eat (without permission) in your own houses, the houses of your fathers, the houses of your mothers, the houses of your brothers, the houses of your sisters, the houses of your paternal uncles, the houses of your paternal aunts, the houses of your maternal uncles, the houses of your maternal aunts, the house which is in your trust, and the house of your friend.

The verse, on the one hand, clearly mentions separate houses for fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, uncles and other relatives thus implying that one should not put the burden of his dependents even on one's parents or other family-members forever; one must be self-reliant and self-supporting.

(https://www.al-islam.org/islam-faith-practice-history-sayyid-muhammad-rizvi/lesson-33-family-life-islam-1)

I feel too many parents expect too much off their unmarried children and give themselves the benefit of "I was married and had a family" when talking about their own commitment to their parents. 

The smoking -
Why do we continue to promote smoking so much? Such excessive smoking and encouraging people who don't smoke to smoke is not the message you want to give your children - or to people who are stressed. We got the point that you wanted to show liberal girls in a liberal family, there's no need to try so hard to prove a point.

Feminism -
Feminism is easy when you only have to bake occasional cakes and visit "do zameenein" once in a while. Those villagers did not respect the woman in her, just that she was the rich malik's daughter. Life continues to be difficult for women who are not filthy rich. So stop complaining about your life.

Corden Bleu -

You don't really need to sacrifice dreams to prove a point. You can go and study there and come back and be with your parents. Don't blame your own indecisiveness on others. A happy visit is better than a grumpy 24/7 companionship.

Overall, the movie grabs your attention from the beginning and keeps you interested till the end. You might feel like checking your phone once or twice during the movie because really, we know what you're trying to say. Please get on with it. The cinematography is pleasing, the Karachi streets too look nice. Can't stress enough on how well the Sindh aspect fits in. Everyone's acting is commendable.
- A must watch.

As a teacher and as a regular wise person, I don't approve of the egg throwing act - anaaj zaya and taking out ghussa on food (the cake icing throwing act and then the cake fight) and the excessive smoking.

What are we seeking?

In the recent times, an increasing number of Pakistanis are becoming obsessive about travel. No, I’m not talking about the once a year family vacation that we all used to look forward to. Joining facebook pages like The Travel Diary proves that travel too has become a weird sort of a competition. I saw a new city before you did, my photos are better than yours, I traveled business class (take that bitch)!

One might argue that it is their money and they are spending it on something they enjoy. Fair enough. There used to be a time we would wait for family to gather so we could go through these very precious photographs with them. Now, they are all over the travel pages, even the personal couple photos that you would keep to yourselves. 

It seems we have become slaves to validation. Going on a vacation with your beloved husband is no longer enough. Therefore we seek for more. So we put up our photos online for random people on the internet to see. Where is the purpose to our lives lost, I wonder...

There is something else I have wondered for a long time. Is it the depression you feel living in Pakistan that makes you want to escape all the time? I was living in KL, Malaysia for the past three years. Never did I once feel like escaping that place. Is it escapism we are looking for? And who can blame us for it? The news is depressing, the driving is depressing, the way men stare at you when you leave the house is depressing, the water condition is depressing, the bills are depressing. And so we seek comfort - in travel and in food. 

Do four days of escapism really bring happiness? I remember, as a young adult, whenever I returned from a vacation back to Karachi I would feel more depressed than I had been when I had left. No wonder the excessive travelling people are becoming obsessive about. They speak about how thrilling it is at a particular airport, airplane model, they post photos of their business class meals, then compare them with another flight’s business class meals...

Maybe that is how normal people are? 

Maybe it takes less effort to escape than to work for a life that you don’t need an escape from?  Or they haven’t found real validation in their lives? Or want to be more popular? But is that a permanent fix to anything?